In solomon islands we have different customs and cultures across our beautiful islands. Some are similar, some differs from island to island, languages, ethnic groups and so forth. However, it is common in many Solomon islands culture the practice of ceremonial Brideprice which also differs accordingly.
Bride price in Solomon Islands has always been a ways to show respect and connections between families.
I will briefly discuss from the perspective of a Malaitan woman living now in this error.
Mostly, a general view and from my personal experience and not from any specific language or ethnic group in Malaita regardless of my background from various parts of Malaita. ( central, East and North).
Traditional Bride Price: A True Pride in Solomon Islands.
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Typical Malaita Bride in her accustomed decors.
With her two helps accompanying her during the time she is being led to the man's village, Tribe and people. |
I remember the atmosphere before my brideprice ceremony. The spark of joy and pride in my uncle's eyes ( my father's brother) as he waited on me to leave for this ceremony. The care of my older brother ( Cousin from Dad's side of lineage) ensuring that i have packed everything i need.
Abit of hesitancy and dissatisfaction from my Guardian father ( Mum's brother) coming from i guess a realistic point of view. " Ivory, i believe you might probably rush into this". With a mixture of feelings, I bound for home (Malaita).
Arriving home, I remember the hasty moves of my father, worrying about every details of the ceremony that he sort of forgetting the whereabouts of things he was sorting out.
Looking at my father I kind of feel sad that he has to go through all these for me. We sat alone and I said to him, " Dad you don't have to do this". Why even bother as my mind was young and never knew the relevance of this ceremony at all.
I remember my father slowly turning to me and said in Kwara'ae in a slow but serious gaze that got me feeling a cold chill running through my spine. " Ngeal Nou, Ru ne'e kii iontwa'a an halhal kul huan ha'a taol ang ain ne'e aok aeh na'a).
Meaning! My child, these things are very very important in our culture in the the proclamation of your marritual status.
A Heavy Weight on my Shoulder:
The ceremony has passed and the reality of life slowly sinks in. Days turned to weeks , months and years. I carry with me that status with loyalty and dignity everywhere I go. Giving in my all without hesitation in honour of that.
Challenges:
The challenges comes in all direction both in cultural and modern expectations. As a married woman in Malaita, there are cultural expectations unspoken but deeply felt that women must be clever enough to walk in those fine lines :
Cultural Expectations
* The way you speak.
* The way you carry yourself in the presence of your in-laws.
* The way you dress.
* You must cook and prepare food for your in-laws. Whenever, they arrive home, you must prioritize them and the list goes on.
* Also a woman and a husband after living together will have to pay back the bride price from time to time, as the bridepice itself was being contributed for from the man's extended family. Hence, all the cultural expectations and it has deep meaning in our culture.
* A woman can be reprimanded by the man's side of family if she fails the silent cultural expectations along the way. She can be told by the in-laws her place that she is only there because of the bride price. They often overlook, it was Love that holds the couple in the first place.
Mordern Expectations
Having looked at the Silent cultural Expectations. Many women especially the working women also have modern expectations:
* Being early to work
* Being late at times from work to complete few outstanding work.
*Meeting deadlines
* Earning money to support your parents, siblings, in-laws, husband, relatives.
* when ever there is death or marriage from both your husband and your side ( you must contribute)
* Food, waterbill, Power bill, student's busfares, schoolfees from both husbands side and your side. And the list goes on.
If a woman is fortunate enough to marry a financially capable man then the above expectations and responsibilities may be shared between them and the weight can be minimized.
However, the challenges can vary from one woman to another depending on their varied circumstances but the basic expectations are always there since it is part of our culture.
Women often find themselves caught up in between two different worlds. A world of upholding the cultural expectations that is associated with the bride price and her obligations towards that.
Also the world of modernism that comes with education, freedom of speech, professionalism, rights of being decision makers in their own rights which very much clashes with the cultural expectations.
Slowly as time goes on, many women often started to lose their voice, their strength and themselves eventually whilst others find their voices and strength in the chaos of these two worlds.
Reflection
In such a society where culture and modernism seem to clash in many ways. It is very cruisal for people to be able to see, the difference, embrace our Tradition or culture and accept the inevitable force of modernism we are living in whilst adjusting our cultural expectations of a woman in the times we are now living.
Hope:
There is hope for the harmoneous coexistence of our culture or tradition and modernism given proper awareness and education to our people in areas where culture seem to clash with the inevitable force of modernism that is associated with education in times like this.
If you liked this post, read Clash Between Tradition and Modern Life: A Reality for Women in Malaita”
https://solvoice.blogspot.com/2025/10/clash-between-tradition-and-mordern.html?m=1
💬What are your thoughts? I would love to hear your voice in the comment section below.👇
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